How do young people view romantic relationships? Do they consider them to be meaningful?
I’m convinced that representatives of any generation feel the need to connect with others, and that we, as human beings, have an innate desire to search for that connection. One of the prominent characteristics of today’s youth that singles them out from the rest of society is their eagerness to explore. Young people are ready to get into relationships more than once in order to try different partners, and this is not a bad thing because it allows them to learn something about themselves and to find out what is best for them. I sometimes hear young people saying that every choice they make is better than the previous one. It means that someday when they eventually want to build long-lasting relationships the choice they’ll make will not be based on a single option. It is not something that was common in the past. For our parents and grandparents, it was normal to stay with their first partner for life. Nowadays this happens very rarely.
Is it true that young people tend to engage in short-term rather than long-lasting relationships?
Not necessarily. I would say that they are not afraid to take risks, to explore. Even culturally, the decision to break up after hitting a half-a-year mark is not viewed as something condemnable any longer. There is also a question of whether a year-long relationship can be considered long-lasting or not. A young person may perceive it as a lengthy amount of time. I believe that when young people choose a partner, they often consider whether that person is someone they want to spend their entire life with, or if they are only suitable for casual companionship. Sometimes namely the latter consideration is the basis for a relationship. People call it friends-with-benefits relationships. These are relationships between people not motivated to move into serious commitment.
A considerable number of young people avoid starting relationships. What do you think of this determination?
It’s true that some people think that relationships are meant to be hard work or something negative that would require constant effort. Some young individuals may become disillusioned by past experiences, and therefore choose to remain single. In fact, they also feel the need for human connection but once they enter a relationship, they may feel the urge to end it quickly. They can step back after a couple of dates or so. And even if they are interested in someone, they are held back by the fear that the relationship will necessarily require lots of effort.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of the determination to avoid relationships?
I believe that adopting a mindset that promotes being single has more drawbacks than benefits. This is because human beings are inherently social creatures and crave connection with others, including having close friends and a romantic partner. I believe that it is more beneficial to actively seek a compatible partner rather than stubbornly choosing to remain single. Staying alone can often lead to feelings of isolation and tedium. Moreover, occasional disagreements and minor conflicts can serve as something positive and add excitement to one’s daily life.
Could you please clarify the main differences in attitude towards relationships between today’s youth and previous generations?
Previously people held an opinion that you should marry the first person who seems to be acceptable. It was widely believed that a partner is meant to be with you for your entire life. Today, people demonstrate a higher level of mindfulness and view relationships as a process. People realize that even perfect relationships require effort and attention. Relationships can be compared to flowers that require regular watering to grow and flourish. Although the flowers may be beautiful at the beginning, they will wilt without water.
Have you observed how social media is affecting the relationships of young people?
Yes, social media has definitely brought some change. Nowadays, it has become common for young people to meet on Tinder. Some people prefer that their partner does not belong to their immediate community. Browsing social media allows you to connect with people worldwide and expand your options.
In the past, when the internet or social media didn’t exist, people used to meet in rather surprising circumstances, hence there are lots of romantic stories. But what about the present? Is it true that social media and dating apps are the most commonly used options?
While dating apps are popular, they are not the only option and a first date can be incredibly romantic. Dating apps do not deprive you of romance. New things are not necessarily bad. Dating sites serve as an additional way to find a potential partner.
What are the risks associated with using dating apps to find a partner?
According to most clients, there is a great chance of running into someone who isn’t interested in a meaningful connection, therefore you should be very patient and persistent in your search. Another question is how to identify a person who could potentially be your significant other from thousands of profiles. One of the greatest problems here is that people are not prepared to take time to know each other. If on the very first date a miracle doesn’t happen, they are determined to go on searching. Some clients say they often went on multiple dates a day. I wonder though if it is possible to figure out whether someone is right for you in such a short span of time. A person who triggered at least some interest deserves a second chance. Making a really good first impression is not an easy task, besides, first impressions can be misleading, therefore, your immediate judgment can be wrong.
How common is it for young people to seek professional help when having relationship problems?
These days, people are more likely to seek counseling or therapy and relationship problems are among the top concerns. Some are looking for ways to navigate relationship changes, to save a failing relationship, while others are interested in finding a partner.
What are the biggest relationship-related challenges Gen Z typically faces?
Most issues are associated with attachment styles. Another problem might be a lack of compatibility and poor communication skills. People should not forget that no matter how well they know their partner they should not think that they can read their partner’s thoughts. Partners should maintain interest in each other and not give up fostering their bond.
